Without You I Am
by His Little LabRat
Summary: Greg and Nick broke it off a few months ago, and Nick is lost without him, even as he tries to get over Greg. NickGreg Slash, Chaptered


**Author: His Little LabRat**

**Story Title: Without You I am…**

**Chapter Title: (Chapter One) ****Blue**

**Summary: Greg and Nick broke it off a few months ago, and Nick is lost without him, even as he tries to get over Greg. [NickGreg Slash, Chaptered**

**Author's Notes: Hello! I am sorry if the story confuses you… it confused some of my friends. Hehheh… oops. ****On another note, if you put the title of the story along with the title of this chapter, you get "Without You I am… Blue," same goes for all of my other chapters, describing how Nick feels in that chapter. It will stay like this for most of the duration of the story. Enjoy!**

Even as Nick laced his fingers around hers, he felt anger and sadness bubble up inside. He didn't know why.

This girl, Alene Beckham, his new… _girl_friend… fingers intertwined with him. He loved her, yeah, but… why did this feeling bubble up inside every time he got close to someone? Before, it never happened… but, ever since that time, in the rain with… Nick shook the thought from his head, not daring to mention _his_ name to himself. He smiled at Alene and she smiled back, squeezing his hand gently in her own. He was tall, skinny, brown hair, big, green-blue eyes… a slick, lean figure, but… the feeling still bubbled up inside him every time she came close or she spoke. As if… something was missing. But, Nick couldn't place his finger on it.

..::XXxxXX::..

"You know what I mean?" Nick asked, shaking his head like he found the inevitable but couldn't believe it.

"Yeah----no." Warrick said, starting out with a nod but then changing into a hard shake as his wording changed. "I don't." Nick laughed at Warrick.

"I just can't put my finger on it…" Nick started but Warrick was looking in the other direction.

"Yeah, and Grissom can't let Greg put his finger on the clock-out button," Warrick said, making Nick twitch at the mention of the DNA tech… but twitched in a good way, the feeling bubbling up again. Warrick laughed hard as Hodges came into the room followed by Greg. Hodges rushed up to the coffee pots and poured two mugs, rushing himself back to the door and handing Greg one cup. Greg looked tired and Nick stared at him, locking gazes with Greg. Greg stared back, taking the cup from Hodges without looking away from Nick until he blinked slowly, slowly coming back into existence, coming out of the trance Nick always pulled in his eyes.

_I changed my color for you__I shed my coat with caution__I lack the beauty you display__See here there are the bruises__And some were self-inflicted__And some showed up along the way__So I nod my head__I__'__m ready for the world to see__The secret I kept h__ere inside the man you thought I'__d be__Slip into coma calm__The coma where I calm myself down__Here comes excuses why I let you down_

"Thanks, Hodges," Greg said, putting a bit of emphasis on Hodges' name- or maybe it was just Nick imagining that slur of Hodges' name. Nick was miraculously up already, walking towards Greg with determination; he didn't know why, though. Nick raised a hand, placing it on Greg's shoulder, the other patting his chest a few times like he usually did. Greg became alert at the contact to his almost bare contact, since his top button was undone, one of Nick's fingers slipping down his shirt and stroking him gently.

_Stand by for another breakdown__Sound off the alarm__Is this the chameleon boy I swore I wouldn't become__Chameleon boy__Chameleon boy_

Nick didn't get the same, unhappy, suicidal feeling when he touched Greg though and his heart yelled at him to say "I love you" but his mind kicked into the public view. "Good luck," he said simply and instead. He stalked out, turning down a hall that he knew was a dead end.

_So now we've come upon the hardest thing I've ever done__Its telling you that I'm a mess__What sort of mess I mean__Is self-destructive gasoline__The kind that strips you of your best__And while I play instead the way that most would end up dead__You sleep alone at home and wish that I was in our bed__With this I'm telling you__My color changes back to blue__How do I ask you this__Will you help me through_

Nick turned to watch Greg, peering at him through the glass walls. He watched Greg's shoulders fall as Nick's contact severed, his eyes and face falling from to that happy spectacle of a smile into the old, tired, dull face and eyes that Greg had since a few months back. Greg watched him, smiling as he was caught in the trance that was Nick, until Hodges called his name and detached his gaze from Nick. Greg nodded as Hodges and Hodges led him back into the DNA lab…

_Stand by for another breakdown__Sound off the alarm__Is this the chameleon boy I swore I wouldn't become__Stand by for another breakdown__Sound off the alarm__Is this the chameleon boy I swore I wouldn't become__Chameleon boy__Chameleon boy_

Detached from Greg once again! Nick cursed him, biting his lip harshly, almost severing into the skin on his bottom lip. He pondered why the feeling hadn't returned when he touched Greg, why the suicidal sadness didn't wash over him, but instead was replaced by the happiness and… joy… that his heart longed so much for.

_I try to think of all the people I look up to__Or growing up who would I be__Now the twisted part__Where'd all my idols end up__They all passed away__Passed away_

He pondered why when he was with Greg he was happy, but then with Alene or anyone else, he turned back to blue. But, with Greg… his heart flew away somewhere! Somewhere he couldn't retrieve it… somewhere he could only reach with Greg.

_Stand by__Its chameleon boy__Stand by__Its chameleon boy__Chameleon Boy__I'm __chameleon boy...__Chameleon Boy…_


End file.
